We were sitting at the dinner table tonight talking about what the kids learned at church, our usual ritual. Emi and Luke learned about the parable of the ten talents. A master gives his servants talents. Two improve upon theirs and earn more. One hides his. When the master returns he gives more to those who improved theirs and takes away from the one that hid.
Today I pushed a little further than normal. What did the kids learn personally from this? What do they want to do differently because of what they learned today?
We have been struggling lately with weaknesses in our house. Steeling, lying, and unkind words, among other things have become common place. Some of us share weaknesses. Others are unique. At any rate, they have been causing hurt and contention. It seems nothing helps; discipline, talking, ignoring, etc. Dave and I have felt at a loss, and not just with the kid's weaknesses. We have felt discouraged in our own.
The parable of the talents led to a discussion of weaknesses.
"Who do you want to be like when you grow up?" I asked. "What do you like about that person?" I asked them to think about it and not answer. After awhile I asked who it was and why? Luke was first. He didn't want to share. I persisted and he did but then burst into tears. He has inherited my emotions. He wanted to be like Emi. We were all a little surprised. Not that Emi isn't someone to be emulated but when I asked who they wanted to be like I expected someone "big"--a super hero or prophet, someone from the scriptures.
He didn't want to say why he was upset. So we moved on. Emi wanted to be like President Hinckley. Lucy and Preston wanted to be like President Monson. These men are as close to perfect as you can be in this life, is my guess. Who wouldn't want to be like them? This is the answer I anticipated. The interesting thing was when I asked why they named characteristics that they struggle with, kindness and honesty, for example.
I came back to Luke. He wanted to be like Emi because she is good at music and doesn't sneak. I was shocked! What an insight into his heart. He again immediately burst into tears. My heart broke for him.
I know what it feels like to make a mistake. Not just any mistake but the same one over and over again. I know how it feels to not be
that kind of person. It seems like a simple thing. Just don't do it anymore. Just stop. I even decide, "I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm going to do this instead." Not a few minutes later I have done the same thing again. The temptation comes and seems overwhelming and irresistible. Talk about discouragement. I understand the feelings of failure and defeat, the self-loathing that results.
So we read Ether 12:27.
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
We talked about what grace means. It is the Lord's ability to make us stronger than we are. So, if we take our weaknesses to the Lord and ask for His help. If we have faith in Him He will make weak things become strong.
The kids listened. Does that mean they will be perfect or even make a change. No. But I was grateful they listened.
Luke came into my room later with an empty ice cream container. He had gotten up before everyone else and eaten it. He actually confessed before he was found out. His conscience had stricken him and he confessed. Improvement! I'm so happy.
After we finished our discussion Lucy went around the table and shared why she loved everyone and then everyone did it back. My heart took a sigh of relief. There is actually some love in this home. It's not all contention. I'm so grateful!
